Cold, cold go away...

So we've been dealing with sickness at our house. I have been in bed with the flu for over a week. Joseph has been sick too (not that you would know with the energy he has), Josh has even started coughing the last couple days.

Speaking of my wonderful husband. Here are his graduation pics I've been promising.



His graduation was a busy day. I wish I could have had a better seat to get pictures of when he got his diploma. But I was wrestling with a two year old who wanted to go home and see his daddy. So he's all graduated and we are excited. Although, we are hoping for two more graduations in the next five years. I will graduate with my bachelor's (hopefully before my 40th birthday) and Josh will graduate with his master's in Social Work. Then we can work on getting Joseph to high school.

But back to being sick. So I have been incapacitated for the last week. I've gone to church to teach my lesson, and we had New Beginnings last week so I went to that. But other than that I've been in bed. (okay, so I took Joseph to the doctor last week but whatever). We keep our house at 69 degrees (trying to cut costs on that dreadful gas bill) but it's felt about 49 degrees to me. In our bathroom we have a "dream wall". It has pics of tropical areas, nice rooms, etc. We got the idea from "The Secret" (about the only thing I liked from that show). Every time I'm in the bathroom (been downing water to get me over my flu) I look at those pictures and imagine I'm sitting on the beach there. I need a tropical vacation. We are planning on going to California this summer, but man oh man, I need heat right now.

Josh took Joseph to run some errands with him today (thank you MLK for giving us a holiday today) So I can rest and relax a little. I love my boys, and I love where I live (not the house, but the area), but I would give almost anything to be alone on a beach with a good book right now. I'd also need someone who would bring me food and virgin daiquiris. I can't wait for summer to come. Usually I don't mind the winter. But this year I need spring. Maybe because my parents come home this summer. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting old.

Anyone know how I can get to the Caribbean on $10?

On to the Finnish

Here we are in a new year. It’s so exciting to make new resolutions. But that is not what I’m here to talk about. We are down to six months before Mom and Dad get home. Here is Joseph showing how excited he is at how little time is left until he can hug Grandma and Grandpa. He really is excited he’s just talking in the pic, so don’t take the look on his face to mean anything.

I can't believe how short this is (or how big Joseph is). The first pic of this had Joseph as a four month old and the chain had over 150 links to it. Now he's big enough to hold it and it's little enough that it's not difficult. 26 weeks left.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The True Meaning of Christmas

Trust me, I will tie this all in.

I just got back from the viewing of my brother-in-law, Jeremy. He took his own life last week. It is so sad. He was 15 years old. No one should have to deal with that. Especially at this time of year. As I watched his sisters struggle to speak to well wishers, my heart cried for their sorrow. To see all the love that was poured out to him and his family, it is so sad he felt things so hopeless that he needed to end his life. I watched family members cry for the loss of their son, brother, uncle and friend. I held Josh's little sister, April, as she cried inconsolably. She is 13 and the closest to Jeremy in age. I whispered in her ear how grateful I am for the atonement/resurrection.

This is what Christmas is all about. Not the death and sorrow of our loved ones, but the hope that we can be with them again. Because of Christmas we can say "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" I looked at Jeremy's body in the casket and knew, he was not there. As Joseph says "he's broken". But because of Christ, he will be fixed again.

Because Christ was born, just as we are all born. Because He lived the life He lived. Because He died and was resurrected, we can all be resurrected. What a wonderful blessing. We can have our bodies back in a perfected form. And we get to keep them forever.

So long, Jeremy. I will miss you. I will miss your heart melting smile. I will miss your cute little giggle. But we will be together again some day. I hope you feel our love and realize how much you will be missed. Love you buddy.

I really am thankful...

I just wanted to update my post and let you all know how grateful I am. We really have so many blessings in our lives. So many times we overlook all of the things we receive because either they are not what we wanted or we are too focused on the things we are not receiving.

Some of our wonderful blessings include:

Josh graduating from Weber State yesterday (hopefully I will post pics on that).

Skyping with Mom and Dad today during our family fireside.

Next year they will be here for the fireside.

Having a General Authority (Elder Hinkley) come speak at our stake conference last week.

My sister Kirsten going through the temple while she visits Mom and Dad for Christmas.

Joseph almost having his own bedroom.

Family and friends who show their love for us in many ways.

A broken car that only cost $30 to fix.

A furnace that works.

A little boy who gets excited when we talk about Jesus and His part in Christmas.

The Gospel in my home.

I really have so many blessings and I'm so grateful for the Thanksgiving/Christmas season that helps us remember how blessed we are.

Why I never go anywhere

This is what happens when I leave Josh and Joseph home alone.


I went to a recipe exchange for Relief Society and came home to be shown this pic. That's a Sharpie, folks. Josh was mudding in Joseph's room and came out to find this. He had also taken the scissors out of the drawer and cut up the newspaper into tiny pieces. Luckily with some rubbing alcohol and a cloth, Josh got most of the marker off the monitor. The joys of children.

Ridin' on the Train

So I need to update my blog. Mostly so it's not so depressing.

We have had a very busy summer. And it hasn't stopped yet. Maybe when we retire. But I'm not counting on it.

Anyway, after we went to California, we had a bunch of activities that we've enjoyed as a family. We went ice skating at the Olympic Ice Sheet in July,

we went to a couple of parades that month also.

Also in July, the youth in our stake (along with 29 others) performed at Weber State for parents and others. It was amazing. The youth can really do great things if we let them. The spirit that they brought was so strong. It was so great to hear (and see) their testimonies. Awesome.

In September I ran a 5k at the University of Utah with my sisters (time 44 min. Not my best but since it's the first time I ran in over a year, and it was on hills, I'm proud of myself), over Labor Day we went up to Promontory Point and watched the re-enactment of the driving of the Golden Spike.

We rode Front Runner down to Salt lake about a week ago. Joseph loved riding on the "big train" and the "little train" (trax). Here a just a few pics from that fun day.

Here he is so excited to be on the train.

Sitting with Daddy looking out the window. (not at the camera)

Standing on the moon at the Planetarium (all the good exhibits were closed but he enjoyed climbing over all the "moon" rocks)

On Mars. He's trying to get used to the difference in atmosphere. You know how it is on Mars.

Playing with a fun ball he found at the gift shop. It looks like this until you pick it up and then...

It looks like this. He thought that was so cool. (and so did his Daddy)

On the way home. He fell asleep right after Farmington, but he didn't want to be held. He was a big boy on a big train, and he was BIG tired.

But he had big fun.

Anyway, both Josh and I are in school this semester. Josh is just a few weeks away from graduation (yea!!) and I'm still a few semesters away from a Bachelor's. I'm going full time this semester, but it's not going to stay that way. I'm struggling to get everything done. So we're cutting back next semester. Maybe before I'm 40 I'll have a degree. We'll see.

Random Ramblings

I know I haven't posted for a long time. I apologize to all my faithful fans. I know there are so many of you. We spent a month without a computer then I had girl's camp and then school started (for both Josh and myself) and it's all I can do to keep my house mildly organized. I'll wait until you stop laughing (if there is anyone reading this at all).

Oddly, I didn't even start this post to get caught up with my life. I just needed to get somethings out that could have the possibility of feedback without worrying of what grade I will receive.

These last few (read: since February) months have been an emotional roller coaster. I cried on and off all through girl's camp (even during non-emotional experiences). I cry my eyes out at least once a month. I have felt less than sane quite a few times.

Slight recap: I lost a baby in February. Since then, it's been interesting. I've had over 15 friends (some of them sister or sisters-in-law) have their own baby. I'm so excited for them. It is a wonderful thing to have a child. But it's also be extremely hard to see the fruition of their dreams and desires while dealing with my own loss.

Last month (September 7) was the due date of this little lost child. I spent the whole week feeling really down. I thought I would be feeling much better by this time, but not so. I dread that time of the month when, once again, I am shown to be without child. My heart aches every time Joseph tells me he wants to have a baby at our house. I want to see him as a big brother, and yet, I don't know what else to do to make that happen.

I'm tired of people telling me stupid things like "well, the baby probably wouldn't have survived anyway" or "it's Heavenly Father's way of making things better". Would you like to hear that after your child died? I don't think so. I want people to tell me they love me and they feel my heartbreak. I want to know that others know how I feel and felt the same way themselves. I don't like putting on a smiling face, when at times I just want to hide in my room and cry.

Granted, I don't always feel this way. Normally I feel fine and happy and enjoy what is going on around me. But when I hear about children being abused or killed by those who should be taking care of and loving them, or when someone who is NOT in a committed relationship is having children, it's really hard for me to understand the purpose of all of this. Yes, I know, Heavenly Father has a plan for me. And it's different than the plan He has for anyone else. And I know that those who do evil things to children will be punished. But it doesn't make my heart ache any less.

A couple weeks ago I was thinking about the accident I had on my mission. I was hit by a motorcycle and spent two weeks in the hospital in Uruguay and then came home for 5 months to recover. I had a broken leg, a skull fracture, and pulmonary problems. I think in some ways that was to prepare me for this experience. Of course, it didn't bring much heart ache with it, but I did have a complete life changing experience. And I learned we never know what the Lord has in store for us.

Thank you for reading all of my ranting and raving. If you have any suggestions or words of comfort, I would love to hear them. I long for the day when I can see that child again and hold it in my arms. I pray that someday Joseph WILL be a big brother and some lucky child will be able to benefit from his sweet, kind, loving ways.

I know Heavenly Father, my wonderful husband, and my sweet son love me and they all show me in so many ways. I really am a lucky woman.